Goldfish Memory

This is a story about some goldfish who, like all goldfish, are memory-challenged^*. First meet Bob. Bob lived in a small aquarium with colorful rocks. Unfortunately, Bob died from overeating. This is what happened:

Bob: Wow! Look at those rocks, that's so cool!

Bob: Hey wow, I never noticed those rocks before, they're awesome!

Bob: Oh look, there's food everywhere! Yum, I can't remember the last time I ate, I must be starving.

Bob eats all the food.

Bob: Woah, check it out, look at all those cool rocks, why didn't I see them earlier?

Bob: Hey is that a rock down there? I didn't know they could make them different colors. Cool!

Bob: Rocks! There are rocks on the bottom of my aquarium, when did this happen?

Bob: FOOD! Food everywhere! Wow this is great, I don't think I've eaten in days!

Bob eats all the food

Bob: Those are some damn cool rocks down there, I wonder how they got there.

Bob: Yessss! Dinner time! I haven't eaten in forever!

Bob eats all the food

Bob: Look at those cool rocks, is that purple?

Bob dies.

Now here's a story about Ann, who happens to still be alive today.

Ann lives in a bigger aquarium which she shares with other fish. This aquarium happens to have a thermometer.

Ann: That's a cool looking thermometer. I wonder what it would be like to swim around it.

Ann swims around the thermometer.

Ann: Is that a thermometer? I wonder what it would be like to swim around it.

Ann swims around the thermometer.

Ann: I bet it would be cool to swim around that thermometer!

Ann swims around the thermometer.

Ann's tank mates are currently undergoing therapy and have learned to deal with Ann's annoying swimming habits.

Lastly, let's take a look at a conversation between Charles and Mark

Charles: Hey, guess what I did today!

Mark: What did you do today?

Charles: What are you talking about?

Mark: I don't know.

Charles: Hey look, rocks!

Mark: Wow! I hadn't seen those before, nifty!

Charles: Hey, guess what I did today!

Mark: What did you do today?

Charles: Who are you talking to?

Mark: I didn't say anything.

Charles: Hey, check out those rocks!

Mark: Wow!

Charles: Hey, guess what I did today!

Mark: What did you do today?

...and so it goes...the lives of goldfish...

Factoid: goldfish have a two second memory. Back to top